monday morning joys

oh lordy. monday was in full swing before i even arrived at work. i was making my way off the tube at moorgate station with the masses of other people doing the same thing as i do every morning. i work in an area of london called "the city" and it is as close to "wallstreet" as you can get in this part of the world (ie wanker banker central). so as i made my way off the tube and over to the escalator, it was the usaul pushing and shoving to get ahead of one another. after letting a good 15 people cut in front of me in their hurried state, i got sick of waiting and decided to make a go for it.

this was just as one woman behind me decided to try and sneak up from behind me to my right hand side and onto the escalator. cause god forbid she be patient and wait her turn like every one else. so as i was about to get on the escalator i put my arm in front of her, both to block her and also to grab the railing so i didn't fall.

oh my lordy. you would have thought i spit on her, pulled her hair and pushed her on the ground from the way she reacted. i got the biggest earfull have ever gotten from the usually reserved and polite londoners. she lectured me on my behavior and how i shouldn't be so rude and how my behavior was unacceptable and how i pushed in front of her. she kept on this all the way up the escaltor.

when i could finally get a word in, i said "oh, i pushed you, did i? well that's funny because i was in front of you, and i saw it as you pushing me."

this set her off on another rant all over again. realizing that she was a crazy monday morning bitch from hell, i decided just to let her rant.

when she finally stopped and there were a few moments of silence, i turned around, and with the biggest grin i could muster, i said "have a nice day". then she says "i can't hear you. i mean i really can't hear you", just like a little child sticking her fingers in her ears and tongue out. so i asked her how old she was, with an even bigger grin. because by this point i was beginning to think it was very funny. and i am sure everyone else around us did too.

after what seemed like an eternity, we reached the platform to leave the escalator. she was staring at me with her crazy disheveled hair, and glaring witch eyes decked out in her designer clothes and matching shoes and purse. i turned around and said, very loudly just in case she was still having trouble hearing, "smile, life's too short as it is". and it is too short. life is too fleeting to get so worked up about something that is an everyday occurance on some of the most crowded trains in the world. good luck lady. you are going to have one long miserable life ahead of you.