a day at the beach...

it may be november but it's never too cold to go to the beach, right? that's where we headed this afternoon up in newburyport, massachusetts. we went to a nature reserve on plum island and it was gorgeous even if that cold winter wind was startin' to blow. i snapped a few pics on my cell phone. next time i definitely need to bring the real camera....

our drugs are better then yours...

while eating breakfast this morning i opened up the Guardian website to get an update on the latest UK and world news, and i almost choked on my cereal when i read this article. and we wonder why no one likes us around the world. it just so american to assume our way of doing things is best. nevermind the fact that millions of us don't have healthcare, and the rest of us that do are paying thousands of dollars a year for it. yes, taxes are lower here, but when you add in the cost of healthcare, which is free in the UK, i know i'm going home with a lot less money. and don't even get me started with the drug advertising. i am sure endless commercials for viagra and zoloft is just what millions of brits would love to see during their commercial break especially when they are already paying $50 a month just to be able to watch the 5 channels offered. i say mr blair sends an NHS rep over here to lecture our government about the importance of nationalized healthcare and accessibility for all. and don't forget to throw in a few words about how wrong it is to advertise drugs on television like they are the newest cereal :) a little rydalin for breakfast anyone?

when it rains it pours

i have been trying so hard to keep an upbeat attitude about everything lately, despite the fact that luck has not been on our side since moving back here. i wont bore you with the details of the many things gone wrong, but take my word it's been one drama after another. a lot of culture shock and upheaval plus a car accident, a family member whose ill, a crazy mom in a nursing home then add to that one person whose jobless the other who is miserable at work and there you have one perty picture of where we're at. it is one thing to have your own struggles, but the hardest thing is to watch the person you love most in the whole world struggle. and it is even harder when that person is struggling with being at home in your own country, especailly when you yourself are struggling with feeling at home in your own country after having been gone so long. i guess this is our cross to bear as they say, and i hope we will one day get to the point where one of us doesn't always have to bear it.

and for some reason today it has finally all caught up with me. another day at work having gone by in which no one really bothered to talk to me let alone train me or even attempt to show me what the hell i am supposed to be doing all day, and i am just throwing my hands in the air to surrender now. i guess i had been hoping that work could at the very least be a distraction and something to focus on. i am sure it will be eventually but right now it is just another lonely struggle.

so i quit. you win life. i have absolutely no idea why we decided to come back to this strange land, and that is heartbreaking to admit after the amount of time and energy (not to mention money) we spent getting here. and all i know is i hope time will tell the reason. i always believe everything happens for a reason, even when i am down in the dumps as i am now. the hard part sometimes is being patient enough to wait for that reason to reveal itself.

sorry to be such a downer if you happen to be reading this. selfishly, i do feel better having gotten that off my chest and admitting it to the world. it is like this dirty secret i have been harboring. so thank you for listening and please say a little prayer to buddah or allah or god or mother nature or whoever for us right now, cause we will need it.

boo!

happy belated holloween. was just checking my email and came across this story. it is really weird, but on the other hand, there's something oddly touching about the fact that her hubby just died recently. perhaps she wanted to go with him....i am always the romantic you know :) hope everyone gorged on as much chocolate as we did last night.